August, 2020 | Community Choirs

I have a confession.

The Philadelphia Boys Choir, not having the same problems as me!

I am struggling with online singing. Struggling to the point where I just don’t want to do it.

I see all my awesome leader colleagues leaping onto their Zoom meetings and Youtube videos with enthusiasm and expertise, and … I just can’t. It’s not that I don’t want to sing – I really do, and I miss it desperately, but digital connection and music-making just doesn’t work for me.

I’ve used my lockdown time to look very carefully at my life and what is working or not working for me. And I’ve realised that (a) I adore singing and leading singing and (b) I dislike anything that gets between me and the singers. For me, the experience of group singing and leading it is a very visceral one. I can hear voices swirl around me, I focus on the ones that work, and the ones that I know aren’t listening closely enough to the people across the room from them. I can hear when individual voices melt together like fine chocolate to become “the choir”, a thing of beauty and wonder. I know who is having a good day or a bad day from the sound of how they are singing. I know who is missing their normal choir neighbour and singing next to a different person because their normal neighbour has gone on holiday for a fortnight.

During our break time (or intro time), I talk to singers and find out what they love and what they hate. I find out who is getting over a chesty cold, or whose daughter has had a baby. We sing to anyone who has had a birthday. We laugh, we hug, we drink tea.

And that’s where it all goes wrong for me. Zoom meetings are about ME talking to THEM. If people try to talk back to me, they are talking to everyone. There’s no intimacy. There’s no showing me a video of their cat doing something funny. There’s no easy chat about song suggestions for next term. And that … humanity… is what informs the music that we do around it. I’m not the most polished choir leader you’ll find. I cried openly in front of my choir when we all sang “For Good” and the line about “because I knew you, I have been changed for the better,” because it was my love song to them. That is how I felt about what they had brought into my life during a hugely dark time for me. I’ve scratched songs halfway through because I can see the effect they have on individual members, and chosen others to boost them during hard times. I keep my eye on singers who I know are living with health problems, to see if they are coping, or whether they need a seratonin boost from something simple and unison. To me, all this is just as important as the finished performance. We form a community of music, laughter, tears, biscuits and tea.

And Zoom doesn’t really cut it. Youtube is sterile.

One day we’ll all be back in the same room, singing together, crying as we do so, and laughing with joy at the freedom and love of it all. And everything will be OK again.

Until then… I miss you. I really, REALLY miss you.

It has seemed in the last couple of years as though the medical profession were finally understanding the importance of singing. Studies were being done about the effect that singing had on depression and cognitive function in people with degenerative brain conditions. All the studies were showing the hugely positive impact of music on people’s lives. Doctors were starting to prescribe group singing as a method of dealing with depressive disorders. It felt like we were turning a big corner in terms of the understanding of the part of music in holistic health.

And then we got Covid-19 and everything has gone a bit pants. There seems to have been an understanding that some social interactivity needs to take place for people’s mental health and the economy, but so far, the risks that are perceived as being part of group singing practice have meant that nothing can resume yet. We’re all making noises about “any day soon”, but we’re also very aware that we might be looking at a Christmas with no carols.

In the meantime we are all stuck in limbo with no music.

But there are things we can do to help ourselves when we feel low and sad and disconnected from our fellow singers. Here are some of the things I’ve found helpful:

Car singing. If you drive, and have access to a car, I cannot recommend this enough. Drive out into the nearest “middle of nowhere” place you can find, and crank up the stereo with feel-good tunes from a happy point in your life. Sing loudly where no-one can hear you. If you have countryside nearby, wind down the windows, stick your elbow out and move some real air through your vocal cords. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t in tune, or you don’t remember the words! Just sing!
Background music whilst doing other tasks. If you are working from home still, put on music whilst you work. Or whilst you cook dinner, or hoover (hoovering is good, put it on headphones and nobody will hear you singing along over the sound of the hoover!).
Compile a “Feel Good Playlist” which only has things that make you out and out happy on it. Online streaming services are excellent for this. Play it all the time. On headphones as you walk around the supermarket, on your daily walk to work, or making breakfast in the morning. Sing along whenever you feel you can.
Watch some silly music films. My recommendation of the moment is “Eurovision: The Legend of Fire Saga” which is cheesy, romantic, silly and uplifting. The soundtrack is on our “Feel Good Playlist” in this house. But there are equally good ones out there – I love “Pitch Perfect” and anything MGM with Howard Keel!
Basically, surround yourself with music and sing along whenever you feel you can. Living in close proximity to other people can make that feel really awkward, but sometimes scheduling “Silly Singalong” with other family/house members can help. If you are all feeling silly, then it makes it much more possible to sing in company.

Music can help us all, and right now, we all need help. The path out of the pandemic is not going to be straight. It is looking increasingly likely that there will be ups and downs, and wiggles left and right as we go in and out of lockdown, rules change every week, and life changes to accommodate all of it. But through all of this, let music be your guide and remember:

WE WILL ALL SING TOGETHER AGAIN.

Confessions of a Choir Leader

Lifting Your Spirits!